Nice little poses on the 3rd from bottom. The cross-hatching ain't working - it's too fine; too many lines! Look at Vilppu-he's much more loose & bold. You got it on the 2nd from bottom. The pen made you stiffen up-u can afford to work looser with it, as u would with pencil, don't fear the construction lines!
I'm trying...read through the books. Now just have to apply it, which is easier said than done! Ink is scary shit. It's just so...permenant!